Since we are on our final stages of our adoption process (and I have a minute to think today) I want to share my heart with you. I want to share with you things I have learned (from other adoptive parents, from adoption experts and from our social worker). Even though it seems as though this journey is nearing an end, when we come home from the airport, the journey is truly just beginning. As hard and emotional as the paperwork stage has been and longing and craving to have our baby girl in our arms, it is no comparison to how hard, exhausting and emotional the days ahead will be with her home. It will not be rainbows, glitter and unicorns...it will be raw, it will be trying, it will be draining, it will be hard friends. Even if the transition goes as smooth as it possibly can, it will still be hard. I promise I'm not being doom and gloom, I'm just being real, I'm just being honest and sharing what I've learned from others who have traveled this road before me.
As long as we have all loved Anelyn and have been dreaming of her and staring at her picture, we have to remember she hasn't been loving us, she hasn't been dreaming of us...she has no clue what all she is about to go through and that breaks my heart for her. She is about to loose everything she knows. She is about to go through more than any child should ever have to go through. She has a foster family. In her eyes, she has a mommy...a home. We are about to rip her out of her family, her home, her life and expect her to leave with complete strangers (very white strangers with red hair)...a new home...a new mommy, daddy, brother and sister...a new country...new sounds...new smells... Again, my heart breaks for her heart.
This will be nothing like bringing a baby home from the hospital. She will be almost 1 and a half with her own personality, with her own comforts, with her own sense of security. We have to show her that we are her parents, that we will be there forever when she needs us, that we will NEVER abandon her, that we are her forever family no matter what! This takes time...lots and lots of time to restore her heart. You know, God, our heavenly Father heals, redeems, restores wasted years and mends broken pieces but how long did it take us to believe that, to trust that whole heartily?? It will take Anelyn several months to learn we are her forever family, coming to mend her broken heart, restore her life and try to fit back together the broken pieces of abandonment.
I would like to share with you what these next few months need to look like. I am writing this in hopes that no one would be offended once we arrive home because of how different this will look compared to bringing a baby home from the hospital.
We welcome anyone and everyone that would like to come to the airport when we arrive home with Anelyn to be there :) Although we will be a hot mess after traveling for approximately 29 hours and have who knows what kind of fluids all over us!! But we welcome you to come and get a peek at Anelyn!! I will give travel details when I get them!!
Now, here's where it gets tough. Here's where we ask for your help and support. After the airport, we have to hunker down as a family for a while. Through everything I've learned, been told, and taught (at our 13 hour adoption class) it takes 12 weeks for a child who has been abandoned to get "attached" and "bonded" with their family. That means WE have to meet her every need in order for her to learn this. Her needs that we have to meet are these : feeding, holding, rocking, bathing, changing, every time she cries, we pick her up and attend to her....all the things you do with a newborn for them to learn who mommy and daddy are. They say PJ and I are the only ones that should meet these needs or else she will be confused. I know this seems strict and you may think I'm crazy and that's ok. We only get one shot at this attachment thing, and if we mess it up, she will have attachment issues forever (like with a spouse...) I know you all are so excited to hold her and believe me I will probably be wanting help and relief, but in order for this thing to work, we have to stick to this. All the adoptive parents I have talked to have said "we should've been stricter in the beginning". Never once have they ever said we were too strict. Some have said that because they took their child around people too soon, the child attached to anybody and everybody, even complete strangers. We don't want that. Remember, this is temporary. And if we put ourselves in Anelyn's shoes and remember what all she is going through, how confused she is, I know you all will want to support this. Is this necessarily what I want...NO...are you kidding me??!! I'm going to want to take her everywhere and show her off to everyone but I can't. Not for a while anyway. I'm sure we will welcome a couple guests to come over to our house after a little bit and you can play with her on the floor and stuff like that, just no feeding, changing, rocking.... that sort of thing. We have to build those parent-child relationships from scratch!
We will also be doing things that may not look "typical" with a 17 month old. We have to go back to the basics to gain the trust and bond. We will be giving her bottles and rocking (this kind of close bodily contact and eye contact builds trust). I know she shouldn't be on bottles at 17 months but remember we are starting from scratch just like you would an infant. Discipline may look different than it did with our other 2 children for a little while.
It will be a while before we go anywhere with lots of people around. Once again, this will confuse her and may trigger her fear and grief. When we do make it out and about, please feel free to wave or smile at her and to interact with us as we are holding her. In general, we plan to keep her near us, just as we would with a new baby, but if you see her seeking food, comfort or affection elsewhere, please re-direct her toward us.
I promise I am not trying to be rude or disrespectful, I just want things to go as smoothly as possible and enable Anelyn with the best transition we can.
Oh, on a side note, I apologize now if I am super grumpy after we get home...this chick does not do well on no sleep!! And I hear the jet lag is NAAASTY!!!
I can' thank you enough for your continued support and excitement during this journey. Please continue to pray for the many things we still have to go thru as far as paperwork, travel arrangements, flights, Eli and Olivia, everyone's health and especially Anelyn's heart. Hugs to you all!!!
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Friday, April 12, 2013
LOA!!!
HERE IT IS!!!
After 58 days from our PA (pre-approval) we finally received the phone call that our LOA (letter of acceptance) from Ch@na arrived at our agency on 4/1 (April Fool's Day)!! Rather fitting with how everything has happened! Relief doesn't even begin to describe how I felt!! I was always paranoid in the back of my mind that somehow Ch@na was going to say no or something because our LOA was taking 5 times longer than everyone else's. I got word on the previous Thursday that Ch@na had sent it out so I already knew that it was "on it's way"!! This is the official, beautiful, motherload of paper from her country that says YES to us adopting her and yes, we ARE her parents!! We know that from LOA to travel time is normally between 8-10 weeks so that would put us at the beginning of June. That night we celebrated by going to Build a Bear to make Anelyn's bear. They overnighted our LOA to us to sign the next day. It arrived as the kids were getting on the bus via FedEx!! The kids wanted to watch us sign it so we took it down to their school and invaded the principal's office to sign our LOA before we overnighted it back to the agency. I made a blank copy for the kids to sign also :)
Well, we filled out a bunch of more paperwork (our visa applications, I800 form (that declares her an immediate relative to us), her visa application...
Currently, our I800 is at USCIS in the process of being approved. I talked to our officer this afternoon and it should get approved on Monday. Then they mail it to NVC to approve her visa (I think). After a few days there we get "cabled" (paperwork goes to the US Embassy in ch@na via email) and we wait 2 weeks for Article 5 drop off and pick up. All of these steps are very confusing and I'm not even sure I have them squared away in my brain!! After Article 5 pick up we then will be awaiting our TA (travel approval). Once we have our TA, we can be on a plane the next week!!!!
So, I have been busy packing, packing, and packing. Trying to clean and ...Oh, we decided to have our big yard sale NEXT WEEKEND!!! We always wanted to have it before we traveled to help raise money for our travel expenses and next weekend is the only free weekend we have until we are on a jet plane!!! So, we are having a yard sale!
I am anxiously awaiting next week because 1. we will get our I800 approval which means another step crossed off the "steps to Anelyn" list and 2. our agency will be back from Ch@na with hopefully some pictures and a video of miss A!! Um...this week really needs to hurry up because this momma really needs to see her baby!! My dear friend is in Ch@na now getting her daughter and she FaceTimed me this morning and oh, it makes me ache to go!! I can't wait!! Even though it's gonna be hotter than hot when we go and humid as all get out, I'll just be a stinky, frizz headed mess, but I don't care!!
Here's some things we know about our daughter (per our paperwork)
1. she is stubborn
2. she can wave "welcome" and goodbye
3. she is active
4. she has to sleep beside foster mother's bed with foster mom patting her back (oh heaven help me!)
5. she doesn't like strange places and will be upset and want to leave
6. when someone has food in their hands she will keep silent and reach for the food (sneaky little thing!!)
7. her favorite foods are meat soup/fish soup/boiled eggs (oh my goodness gracious!!)
It looks like we have our work cut out for us! lol
Here are the things you can continue to pray for:
1. The rest of the paper work steps to go smoothly
2. Anelyn's heart as she grieves the loss of her foster family and begins to bond and attach to us
3. Logistics...flights, trains, hotels, luggage and communication with our kids at home
4. Overall health...for hubby and I, for Anelyn, and for the kids at home and their caretakers
5. Safety...as we travel to three cities within Ch@na as well as the flights to and from there
6. Adoption process...Her passport and visa to be granted quickly, her medical exam to go well, and no other paperwork problems!
7. Eli and Olivia {and the people caring for them}...that they don't miss us too much as I know we will miss them tremendously!!
8. The HEAT...silly, I know but we are going when it is going to be plain, flat miserable there and this red-head gets overheated easy and I'm really afraid I'm going to be a hot, grumpy mess!! Not to mention having a 17 month old strapped to our chests!!
Thank you for your continued support and prayers! We are going to pray this girl home and I know God can prepare her heart for us!!
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
The whole story...
Sorry it's been so very long since I have posted anything. I really was kind of in a dark place while I was waiting, and waiting and waiting to be matched with our daughter so I didn't want to write how I was REALLY feeling!! I have wanted to try my best to embrace and glorify God while I was in the "waiting room" of adoption but some days were just really hard. I know everything is in His timing and I really wanted to display that...sometimes adoption hormones just don't seem to cooperate with what my brain and heart know!!
So anyway, it is with GREAT joy that we can say we have found our daughter (most of you knew this already). We know the face that goes with the name Anelyn Hope!! I am going to try to remember the best I can, how those first few days went (because they went nothing like I had "thought" they would go)!
Ok, so we were with an agency that I loved but only was able to match families off of the "shared list" (the list that Ch@na releases once a month with children eligible for adoption) This list seemed to be getting smaller with more severe needs on them. There are other agencies that have partnerships with certain orphanages and those orphanages will send the files of children specifically to that agency. So, it was Dec. 26th and I get a text from my good friend (who is also adopting) saying that there was a lady on our Facebook adoption groups that has posted that she is advocating for a little 11 month old girl. She said, "you need to message her now"!! I said "no, you message her..you're waiting just like I am". But she insisted that she had a feeling that this one was for me!! So I messaged this gal and she immediately responded that I was the person she had in mind the whole time for this little girl. We talked for hours about this girl and what I would need to do. Somehow, she advocates for many agencies and they give her files to try to get these children families. I told her to go ahead and send me the file because it couldn't hurt. I didn't understand why an agency had a file of such a minor needs girl with no one to match her with...did they really not have anyone waiting?? Here I had been waiting 10 months!! Apparently, it is a small agency and they didn't have anyone that was LID already and this girl had to go to a family that already had their paperwork in Ch@na and ready to go. So, she sends me the file but there is no picture. On their website they had a "partial" picture....it was just a picture of her eyes. As I'm looking over the file I'm thinking "could this really be it?" I look into those eyes and wonder "are these my daughter's eyes??" There is one major kink in this though...I am with another agency and the agency that has this file will not transfer the file to my agency...I would have to switch agencies! Would my agency even allow me to do that!! So, I have to tell myself to not even get excited...do not even go there. This could all get washed down the toilet!! I called the agency that had the file and told her I was very interested in this little girl and what would I need to do to get her? She said I would need to have a doctor look at the file and I would have to get approval from my agency to make the switch. Some agencies will allow it, and some will not. Oh my gosh!!! In the meantime, I send my awesome pediatrician the file via his personal email to be looking at in case I missed something. They like to have the picture of the face to rule out any genetic disorders but I wanted him to look at her on paper until I could get a picture before I got my hopes up too high. Side note...of course I couldn't get a hold of my dear husband to tell him any of his because he was visiting someone at the hospital and had his phone turned off!!! This has happened every time there has been exciting news! So, he comes home and I try to blab out everything that happened that day. I'm making no sense whatsoever!! Oh and to add to the crazy, the kiddos are on Christmas break!! I have tried to make all these phone calls hiding from them either in the closet or in the bathroom!!! I don't want to tell them anything until we could for sure say "here is your sister". It would just be too hard!! Oh, I forgot an amazing part of the story...When we looked at the picture of just her eyes that was on their website, the date under that picture said 12/20! You know what that is??? Hubby's birthday! He about fell over when he saw that!! We discussed and prayed and stared at those eyes all night long but once again we can't even let ourselves go there because 1. we haven't heard back from the doctor and 2. our agency may not let us switch! We have some major hurdles to jump before we even begin to get attached.
The next morning, Dec. 27th the agency emailed a photo of her and I immediately sent it to my pediatrician and also the awesome international adoption doctor at Nationwide Children's Hospital. Daddy and I were now falling in love with this sweet little face on a pink blow up chair!! The pediatrician emailed later in the day to say that everything looked good. He had to look into something that was showing up in her blood numbers but her main need looked like it would fix itself. Praise the Lord!!! He emailed later on in the day to say everything with her blood numbers looks great and there are no worries! Oh my goodness...could this really be happening??? I now needed to wait for the IA doc to give us the full low down because she does this for a living and knows what to look for. She emailed me that night saying everything looked GREAT! She said she would call me in the morning by 8:00 am because she was leaving on vacation and even gave me her home phone # in case she didn't call by 8!! AWESOMENESS!! I can't sleep at all, my stomach and whole body shakes, my heart races, and my brain won't shut up!!! I look at the picture a bajillion times every 5 seconds!!
Dec. 28...The doctor calls promptly at 8 to see if I have any questions. Um...questions...um....????? My mind is mush! She told me that this is the best case I could ask for! We discussed her need more in depth and she assured me that it should fix itself and worst case scenario one little surgery. Again AWESOMENESS!! But remember, we still have the huge mountain to get over...if my agency will even allow me to switch! See my dilemma?? I keep getting good news but can't allow myself to get excited (paalease...I was already over the moon!!) So I called the agency and told them I really want this baby so what do I need to do? I don't want anyone else looking at her file! They put her file on hold for us and told us to contact our agency immediately. Oh good heavens...stomach shaking, heart pounding...here we go! Again, kids are home and I am doing everything in the closet!! They keep asking who I am talking to and what I am saying. (every time the phone rang this past year Eli would always ask if we got our referral and if it was the agency) Now you see why I couldn't get their hopes up!! So, here goes nothing, I'm gonna call!! I call the number and guess what?? They are out of the office until Jan. 3 for Christmas break!!!!!!! SAY WHAT???? NOOOOOO!!!!! I can't wait another week!!! I decide to email them because they are so good about checking their emails from home and have even called me from their home before. So now, what in the world do I say in this email? I don't want them mad that I was looking behind their backs or make them mad, say no, then not ever match us because we upset them. See my nervousness now?? It felt like my future was in their hands. ( I know God has my future in the palm of his hand but this was scary!!) My email went something like this, The weirdest, most amazing thing happened yesterday and I think I may have found my daughter and asked them to give me a call. Gulp! Still shaking!! Please Lord, have Your way. Is this really happening?? I'm so nervous and excited, I constantly feel like I'm either going to puke or pee my pants!! That night when we got home there was a message on our machine...from the lady at our agency...gulp...she sounded excited and happy...could this be??? God, are you really dropping our daughter right into our laps?? So, I hurry up and put the kids to bed so I can call. Shaking...heart pounding...this is it!!! Holy moly!! I called her cell number and she still sounded super excited and wanted to hear all about it! I told her the story exactly how it happened and she was 110% supportive and on board with anything they needed to do to bring her home!! She said she completely understood and sometimes that's just how it happens. Holy batman...we just had a baby!!!!! The last piece of the puzzle fell into place so easily! I was so afraid we would never find her and she was literally a needle in a haystack and God placed her in our life. God said "see, I got this"!! What's crazy is everyone on my adoption sites was texting me and messaging me to look at this girl. It was like EVERYONE knew this baby was mine!!! It all happened so backwards from how I was always told it would happen but that's how God works isn't it??!! It was now time to tell big brother and sister. The next morning we decided to wrap a picture of her and put it under the tree as if Santa left one last package. They grabbed it and opened it together. Olivia's mouth dropped open and Eli said "what's this?" with a big smile on his face. I said "it's your baby sister!!" Olivia threw her hands up and screamed "YAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!" and Eli got the most excited look on his face and said "REALLY?" They were so elated! Eli teared up and their hearts were pure happiness and joy. God gave the heart of adoption to our children too and that has been amazing to watch!
At this point I had to wait a week before anyone is back in the office in order to start the switch. We had to submit a letter and have the director of the agency sign it saying they give over all of our stuff to the new agency. Wouldn't you know the director didn't come into the office until 1/5!! I'm dying here! The new agency received it on 1/7 and wired everything to Ch@na. We now have to wait to get a new LID under the new agency. This took FOREVER!! We only thought it would take a couple of days but no, we didn't get that until 1/25. At that point they were finally able to submit our LOI (letter of intent) saying we wanted to adopt this girl and we promise to love her, care for her, provide her with medical care and never abandon her. Then we wait on our PA (pre-approval) from Ch@na. Once again...thought it would only take a couple days like everyone else but no, we didn't get that until 2/4. We are now officially waiting for LOA (letter of acceptance)...the most important paper in this whole process that says in Ch@na's eyes we are her parents forever and she belongs to us. Once again, this should've already come but we are still waiting. Once we get LOA, it is generally 8-12 weeks and we are on a plane to Ch@na!! Everyone thought I would be traveling in March or April but it is looking more like May or June :( In the adoption community I am known as the "marathon mama" because all of my steps have take double or triple the time everyone else's has. They actually say it is painful to watch! lol I may not understand now and as much as my heart and arms ache to hold my baby, I know when she is placed in my arms it will all go away and it will be so, so worth it! Our little one is not in the orphanage...she is in foster care...Thank you Jesus!! We sent her a care package last week and praying she gets it! It included a disposable camera, a photo album with her family in it to get used to our faces, a blanket we have slept with for a year to get our smell on it and a recordable stuffed bunny in which we told her we loved her and sang her a song to get familiar with our voices! She is almost 14 months old and it says she is stubborn and impatient and her favorite food is fish soup and she dislikes sweet food!! SAY WHAT?? Oh honey, we've got to change that! In the last picture we got of her she has big crocodile tears in her eyes and I just want to fill her eyes with happiness! I can't wait to see this girl smile! Oh, be still my heart! I will post a pic as soon as we get LOA but be prepared for some major cuteness!!
Sorry this is so incredibly long but I wanted to put in writing how the whole thing happened for those of you that wanted to know the story! We are naming her Anelyn Hope Xi (xi is pronounced "she" and it is part of her Chinese name)
Please pray that her heart will be prepared for us and that our paperwork changes to the fast lane!! This mama is ready to get on a plane and bring her home!!!
"I will gather your children from the east and bring you from the west" Isaiah 43:5
To make it more personal, I read it now as I will gather Anelyn Hope from the east and bring you from the west.
Thank you Jesus for bringing us our daughter and for having complete control over this journey!
So anyway, it is with GREAT joy that we can say we have found our daughter (most of you knew this already). We know the face that goes with the name Anelyn Hope!! I am going to try to remember the best I can, how those first few days went (because they went nothing like I had "thought" they would go)!
Ok, so we were with an agency that I loved but only was able to match families off of the "shared list" (the list that Ch@na releases once a month with children eligible for adoption) This list seemed to be getting smaller with more severe needs on them. There are other agencies that have partnerships with certain orphanages and those orphanages will send the files of children specifically to that agency. So, it was Dec. 26th and I get a text from my good friend (who is also adopting) saying that there was a lady on our Facebook adoption groups that has posted that she is advocating for a little 11 month old girl. She said, "you need to message her now"!! I said "no, you message her..you're waiting just like I am". But she insisted that she had a feeling that this one was for me!! So I messaged this gal and she immediately responded that I was the person she had in mind the whole time for this little girl. We talked for hours about this girl and what I would need to do. Somehow, she advocates for many agencies and they give her files to try to get these children families. I told her to go ahead and send me the file because it couldn't hurt. I didn't understand why an agency had a file of such a minor needs girl with no one to match her with...did they really not have anyone waiting?? Here I had been waiting 10 months!! Apparently, it is a small agency and they didn't have anyone that was LID already and this girl had to go to a family that already had their paperwork in Ch@na and ready to go. So, she sends me the file but there is no picture. On their website they had a "partial" picture....it was just a picture of her eyes. As I'm looking over the file I'm thinking "could this really be it?" I look into those eyes and wonder "are these my daughter's eyes??" There is one major kink in this though...I am with another agency and the agency that has this file will not transfer the file to my agency...I would have to switch agencies! Would my agency even allow me to do that!! So, I have to tell myself to not even get excited...do not even go there. This could all get washed down the toilet!! I called the agency that had the file and told her I was very interested in this little girl and what would I need to do to get her? She said I would need to have a doctor look at the file and I would have to get approval from my agency to make the switch. Some agencies will allow it, and some will not. Oh my gosh!!! In the meantime, I send my awesome pediatrician the file via his personal email to be looking at in case I missed something. They like to have the picture of the face to rule out any genetic disorders but I wanted him to look at her on paper until I could get a picture before I got my hopes up too high. Side note...of course I couldn't get a hold of my dear husband to tell him any of his because he was visiting someone at the hospital and had his phone turned off!!! This has happened every time there has been exciting news! So, he comes home and I try to blab out everything that happened that day. I'm making no sense whatsoever!! Oh and to add to the crazy, the kiddos are on Christmas break!! I have tried to make all these phone calls hiding from them either in the closet or in the bathroom!!! I don't want to tell them anything until we could for sure say "here is your sister". It would just be too hard!! Oh, I forgot an amazing part of the story...When we looked at the picture of just her eyes that was on their website, the date under that picture said 12/20! You know what that is??? Hubby's birthday! He about fell over when he saw that!! We discussed and prayed and stared at those eyes all night long but once again we can't even let ourselves go there because 1. we haven't heard back from the doctor and 2. our agency may not let us switch! We have some major hurdles to jump before we even begin to get attached.
The next morning, Dec. 27th the agency emailed a photo of her and I immediately sent it to my pediatrician and also the awesome international adoption doctor at Nationwide Children's Hospital. Daddy and I were now falling in love with this sweet little face on a pink blow up chair!! The pediatrician emailed later in the day to say that everything looked good. He had to look into something that was showing up in her blood numbers but her main need looked like it would fix itself. Praise the Lord!!! He emailed later on in the day to say everything with her blood numbers looks great and there are no worries! Oh my goodness...could this really be happening??? I now needed to wait for the IA doc to give us the full low down because she does this for a living and knows what to look for. She emailed me that night saying everything looked GREAT! She said she would call me in the morning by 8:00 am because she was leaving on vacation and even gave me her home phone # in case she didn't call by 8!! AWESOMENESS!! I can't sleep at all, my stomach and whole body shakes, my heart races, and my brain won't shut up!!! I look at the picture a bajillion times every 5 seconds!!
Dec. 28...The doctor calls promptly at 8 to see if I have any questions. Um...questions...um....????? My mind is mush! She told me that this is the best case I could ask for! We discussed her need more in depth and she assured me that it should fix itself and worst case scenario one little surgery. Again AWESOMENESS!! But remember, we still have the huge mountain to get over...if my agency will even allow me to switch! See my dilemma?? I keep getting good news but can't allow myself to get excited (paalease...I was already over the moon!!) So I called the agency and told them I really want this baby so what do I need to do? I don't want anyone else looking at her file! They put her file on hold for us and told us to contact our agency immediately. Oh good heavens...stomach shaking, heart pounding...here we go! Again, kids are home and I am doing everything in the closet!! They keep asking who I am talking to and what I am saying. (every time the phone rang this past year Eli would always ask if we got our referral and if it was the agency) Now you see why I couldn't get their hopes up!! So, here goes nothing, I'm gonna call!! I call the number and guess what?? They are out of the office until Jan. 3 for Christmas break!!!!!!! SAY WHAT???? NOOOOOO!!!!! I can't wait another week!!! I decide to email them because they are so good about checking their emails from home and have even called me from their home before. So now, what in the world do I say in this email? I don't want them mad that I was looking behind their backs or make them mad, say no, then not ever match us because we upset them. See my nervousness now?? It felt like my future was in their hands. ( I know God has my future in the palm of his hand but this was scary!!) My email went something like this, The weirdest, most amazing thing happened yesterday and I think I may have found my daughter and asked them to give me a call. Gulp! Still shaking!! Please Lord, have Your way. Is this really happening?? I'm so nervous and excited, I constantly feel like I'm either going to puke or pee my pants!! That night when we got home there was a message on our machine...from the lady at our agency...gulp...she sounded excited and happy...could this be??? God, are you really dropping our daughter right into our laps?? So, I hurry up and put the kids to bed so I can call. Shaking...heart pounding...this is it!!! Holy moly!! I called her cell number and she still sounded super excited and wanted to hear all about it! I told her the story exactly how it happened and she was 110% supportive and on board with anything they needed to do to bring her home!! She said she completely understood and sometimes that's just how it happens. Holy batman...we just had a baby!!!!! The last piece of the puzzle fell into place so easily! I was so afraid we would never find her and she was literally a needle in a haystack and God placed her in our life. God said "see, I got this"!! What's crazy is everyone on my adoption sites was texting me and messaging me to look at this girl. It was like EVERYONE knew this baby was mine!!! It all happened so backwards from how I was always told it would happen but that's how God works isn't it??!! It was now time to tell big brother and sister. The next morning we decided to wrap a picture of her and put it under the tree as if Santa left one last package. They grabbed it and opened it together. Olivia's mouth dropped open and Eli said "what's this?" with a big smile on his face. I said "it's your baby sister!!" Olivia threw her hands up and screamed "YAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!" and Eli got the most excited look on his face and said "REALLY?" They were so elated! Eli teared up and their hearts were pure happiness and joy. God gave the heart of adoption to our children too and that has been amazing to watch!
At this point I had to wait a week before anyone is back in the office in order to start the switch. We had to submit a letter and have the director of the agency sign it saying they give over all of our stuff to the new agency. Wouldn't you know the director didn't come into the office until 1/5!! I'm dying here! The new agency received it on 1/7 and wired everything to Ch@na. We now have to wait to get a new LID under the new agency. This took FOREVER!! We only thought it would take a couple of days but no, we didn't get that until 1/25. At that point they were finally able to submit our LOI (letter of intent) saying we wanted to adopt this girl and we promise to love her, care for her, provide her with medical care and never abandon her. Then we wait on our PA (pre-approval) from Ch@na. Once again...thought it would only take a couple days like everyone else but no, we didn't get that until 2/4. We are now officially waiting for LOA (letter of acceptance)...the most important paper in this whole process that says in Ch@na's eyes we are her parents forever and she belongs to us. Once again, this should've already come but we are still waiting. Once we get LOA, it is generally 8-12 weeks and we are on a plane to Ch@na!! Everyone thought I would be traveling in March or April but it is looking more like May or June :( In the adoption community I am known as the "marathon mama" because all of my steps have take double or triple the time everyone else's has. They actually say it is painful to watch! lol I may not understand now and as much as my heart and arms ache to hold my baby, I know when she is placed in my arms it will all go away and it will be so, so worth it! Our little one is not in the orphanage...she is in foster care...Thank you Jesus!! We sent her a care package last week and praying she gets it! It included a disposable camera, a photo album with her family in it to get used to our faces, a blanket we have slept with for a year to get our smell on it and a recordable stuffed bunny in which we told her we loved her and sang her a song to get familiar with our voices! She is almost 14 months old and it says she is stubborn and impatient and her favorite food is fish soup and she dislikes sweet food!! SAY WHAT?? Oh honey, we've got to change that! In the last picture we got of her she has big crocodile tears in her eyes and I just want to fill her eyes with happiness! I can't wait to see this girl smile! Oh, be still my heart! I will post a pic as soon as we get LOA but be prepared for some major cuteness!!
Sorry this is so incredibly long but I wanted to put in writing how the whole thing happened for those of you that wanted to know the story! We are naming her Anelyn Hope Xi (xi is pronounced "she" and it is part of her Chinese name)
Please pray that her heart will be prepared for us and that our paperwork changes to the fast lane!! This mama is ready to get on a plane and bring her home!!!
"I will gather your children from the east and bring you from the west" Isaiah 43:5
To make it more personal, I read it now as I will gather Anelyn Hope from the east and bring you from the west.
Thank you Jesus for bringing us our daughter and for having complete control over this journey!
Monday, June 11, 2012
Uplifting Weekend (sorry, it's kinda long)
On Saturday, May 26th our adoption agency had their huge Memorial Day reunion at the zoo. I called to ask that even though this is really for people who have already brought their children home, if we could still come. Of course they said yes and I was thrilled. I couldn't wait to be among people who truly "understood" adoption. The in's, the out's, all the abbreviations, the wait, the unknown and just the heart that adoptive families have. I had kind of been getting down in the dumps with some of the not so positive comments people had been making about our adoption. It has really quite shocked me! Even complete strangers feel the need to give their 2 cents on the subject (which they normally know nothing about). I guess it is just viewed differently then someone physically "showing" when they are pregnant. I mean, I've been pregnant twice and I only received kind words and excitement from everyone. But wow, is this time completely different!! Even the guy at the bank had something to say... We had been saving our change for a good 10 years now and decided to roll it all and take it to the bank to open a separate account for our trip to China. When we explained what we were doing he asked "how many palms did you have to grease to get this far?" WE ARE NOT PAYING CHINA FOR A BABY PEOPLE!! I kindly told him there is no bribery when adopting and in fact all of our money has gone to the US government (for paperwork, notaries, ....yada, yada, yada). And another one I just love is when people say that it is quite an "investment"...my daughter is NOT an item on the stock market! I truly don't think people are really intending to be rude, I just think they have pre-conceived notions on what they think adoption is. I guess I just need to de-bunk everyones misconceptions. The fact of the matter is we are having another child, should it matter whether I physically birth her? She will be a part of our family forever and in my opinion, blood isn't the only thing that makes a family a family. Don't get me wrong, we have several people that are truly happy and excited for our family, and to them I am forever grateful. But there are those that we encounter that are just ignorant to the subject and I have to remember that all people aren't going to "get it" and that is ok. To those of you who are amazingly supportive and excited, I cannot thank you enough! I don't know how I would make it through this process if I didn't have you all!
Anyway, to get off my soap box now...We had an absolute amazing time being surrounded by all the families that have already traveled to get their children! They all were so encouraging and supportive and excited for us. And since we didn't have a child from China to show off yet, I decided to have tee shirts made so people would know we were on our way. I had pink shirts made for my husband, myself, my son and daughter. My husband's and mine said "expecting" from China on the front along with our chinese characters for mommy and daddy. My son's said waiting on my mei mei (that means little sister in chinese) and my daughters said "my mei mei is on the way" (mei mei is pronounced may may).
And on the back of all of our shirts was the chinese symbol for love. Our shirts were a big hit and everyone loved them and I came home refreshed with my excitement meter filled back up!! But the neatest thing happened when we were leaving. See, ladybugs are believed to be good luck in the chinese adoption community and when one is sighted it is believed that a referral is not too far away. Well, as we were walking out of the zoo to our car I looked at my husband's back (since he was walking in front of me) and I couldn't believe my eyes...right there sitting on the bottom of the love symbol on his shirt was a ladybug! The first one I have seen this year! It was just the perfect ending to the perfect day! And in my opinion, it is God revealing Himself once again in this process and saying this is what I have planned for you, keep on pushing forward because you ARE doing the right thing. "Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west." Isaiah 43:5
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Wonderful Voicemail
Well, I came home today from a day of teaching first grade to hear a voicemail message from my agency. She had wonderful news!! She just received an email from China with our LID. Our official LID is 5/11/12. We are now in the CCCWA system and are able to get a referral. The next shared list should be coming out in another week or so but I'm still not getting my hopes up as they told us it could take 6-12 months. But still, I am way excited that we are one (very important) step closer!!!
Monday, April 23, 2012
Dossier To China Today!!!!!
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| dossier documents |
Please continue to pray for our little girl even though we don't know who she is yet...Pray that God keeps her safe and healthy while we are clear on the other side of the world from her and pray that when we do get her in our arms that the transition and attachment process will go smoothly. Thank you so much for sharing in the excitement of each of our milestones! Today is a great day!!!
Thursday, March 29, 2012
We Received our US Approval Letter!!!
March 29, 2012 ~ We received in the mail today our USCIS approval letter! This is where the US department of Homeland Security and Immigration services reviewed all of our home study paperwork and approved our fingerprints that were taken on the 16th of March. I didn't think this was going to arrive until late April or May but surprise, surprise!!! I emailed our agency a copy of the approval letter and she will be sending it to Washington to the Chinese Consulate to get authenticated. This is where all of our dossier documents are currently and should be finished up in a week. Once our agency gets the authentication back, our dossier will be on it's way to China!!! Within a couple days of the paperwork arriving in China we will be officially "logged in". That means we will be able to get a referral. This phase is "the waiting phase". It could take anywhere from a couple of months to a year...just have to be patient and confident that God knows which baby is supposed to be our little girl and we will get her when the time is right. Thank you again to those of you who are supporting us along this journey through your kind words, excitement and prayers. We GREATLY appreciate it all!!!
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