The whole story...

Sorry it's been so very long since I have posted anything.  I really was kind of in a dark place while I was waiting, and waiting and waiting to be matched with our daughter so I didn't want to write how I was REALLY feeling!! I have wanted to try my best to embrace and glorify God while I was in the "waiting room" of adoption but some days were just really hard.  I know everything is in His timing and I really wanted to display that...sometimes adoption hormones just don't seem to cooperate with what my brain and heart know!!
 So anyway, it is with GREAT joy that we can say we have found our daughter (most of you knew this already).  We know the face that goes with the name Anelyn Hope!!  I am going to try to remember the best I can, how those first few days went (because they went nothing like I had "thought" they would go)!
Ok, so we were with an agency that I loved but only was able to match families off of the "shared list" (the list that Ch@na releases once a month with children eligible for adoption)  This list seemed to be getting smaller with more severe needs on them.  There are other agencies that have partnerships with certain orphanages and those orphanages will send the files of children specifically to that agency.  So, it was Dec. 26th and I get a text from my good friend (who is also adopting) saying that there was a lady on our Facebook adoption groups that has posted that she is advocating for a little 11 month old girl.  She said, "you need to message her now"!! I said "no, you message her..you're waiting just like I am".  But she insisted that she had a feeling that this one was for me!!  So I messaged this gal and she immediately responded that I was the person she had in mind the whole time for this little girl.  We talked for hours about this girl and what I would need to do.  Somehow, she advocates for many agencies and they give her files to try to get these children families.  I told her to go ahead and send me the file because it couldn't hurt.  I didn't understand why an agency had a file of such a minor needs girl with no one to match her with...did they really not have anyone waiting?? Here I had been waiting 10 months!!  Apparently, it is a small agency and they didn't have anyone that was LID already and this girl had to go to a family that already had their paperwork in Ch@na and ready to go.  So, she sends me the file but there is no picture.  On their website they had a "partial" picture....it was just a picture of her eyes.  As I'm looking over the file I'm thinking "could this really be it?"  I look into those eyes and wonder "are these my daughter's eyes??"  There is one major kink in this though...I am with another agency and the agency that has this file will not transfer the file to my agency...I would have to switch agencies! Would my agency even allow me to do that!! So, I have to tell myself to not even get excited...do not even go there.  This could all get washed down the toilet!!  I called the agency that had the file and told her I was very interested in this little girl and what would I need to do to get her?  She said I would need to have a doctor look at the file and I would have to get approval from my agency to make the switch.  Some agencies will allow it, and some will not.  Oh my gosh!!! In the meantime, I send my awesome pediatrician the file via his personal email to be looking at in case I missed something.  They like to have the picture of the face to rule out any genetic disorders but I wanted him to look at her on paper until I could get a picture before I got my hopes up too high.  Side note...of course I couldn't get a hold of my dear husband to tell him any of his because he was visiting someone at the hospital and had his phone turned off!!! This has happened every time there has been exciting news!  So, he comes home and I try to blab out everything that happened that day.  I'm making no sense whatsoever!! Oh and to add to the crazy, the kiddos are on Christmas break!!  I have tried to make all these phone calls hiding from them either in the closet or in the bathroom!!! I don't want to tell them anything until we could for sure say "here is your sister".  It would just be too hard!!  Oh, I forgot an amazing part of the story...When we looked at the picture of just her eyes that was on their website, the date under that picture said 12/20!  You know what that is??? Hubby's birthday!  He about fell over when he saw that!!  We discussed and prayed and stared at those eyes all night long but once again we can't even let ourselves go there because 1. we haven't heard back from the doctor and 2. our agency may not let us switch! We have some major hurdles to jump before we even begin to get attached.
The next morning, Dec. 27th the agency emailed a photo of her and I immediately sent it to my pediatrician and also the awesome international adoption doctor at Nationwide Children's Hospital.  Daddy and I were now falling in love with this sweet little face on a pink blow up chair!! The pediatrician emailed later in the day to say that everything looked good.  He had to look into something that was showing up in her blood numbers but her main need looked like it would fix itself.  Praise the Lord!!! He emailed later on in the day to say everything with her blood numbers looks great and there are no worries! Oh my goodness...could this really be happening??? I now needed to wait for the IA doc to give us the full low down because she does this for a living and knows what to look for.  She emailed me that night saying everything looked GREAT!  She said she would call me in the morning by 8:00 am because she was leaving on vacation and even gave me her home phone # in case she didn't call by 8!! AWESOMENESS!! I can't sleep at all, my stomach and whole body shakes, my heart races, and my brain won't shut up!!! I look at the picture a bajillion times every 5 seconds!!
Dec. 28...The doctor calls promptly at 8 to see if I have any questions. Um...questions...um....????? My mind is mush!  She told me that this is the best case I could ask for! We discussed her need more in depth and she assured me that it should fix itself and worst case scenario one little surgery.  Again AWESOMENESS!! But remember, we still have the huge mountain to get over...if my agency will even allow me to switch!  See my dilemma?? I keep getting good news but can't allow myself to get excited (paalease...I was already over the moon!!) So I called the agency and told them I really want this baby so what do I need to do?  I don't want anyone else looking at her file! They put her file on hold for us and told us to contact our agency immediately.  Oh good heavens...stomach shaking, heart pounding...here we go!  Again, kids are home and I am doing everything in the closet!! They keep asking who I am talking to and what I am saying.  (every time the phone rang this past year Eli would always ask if we got our referral and if it was the agency) Now you see why I couldn't get their hopes up!! So, here goes nothing, I'm gonna call!!  I call the number and guess what?? They are out of the office until Jan. 3 for Christmas break!!!!!!! SAY WHAT???? NOOOOOO!!!!!  I can't wait another week!!!  I decide to email them because they are so good about checking their emails from home and have even called me from their home before. So now, what in the world do I say in this email?  I don't want them mad that I was looking behind their backs or make them mad, say no, then not ever match us because we upset them.  See my nervousness now?? It felt like my future was in their hands. ( I know God has my future in the palm of his hand but this was scary!!) My email went something like this, The weirdest, most amazing thing happened yesterday and I think I may have found my daughter and asked them to give me a call.   Gulp!  Still shaking!! Please Lord, have Your way.  Is this really happening?? I'm so nervous and excited, I constantly feel like I'm either going to puke or pee my pants!!  That night when we got home there was a message on our machine...from the lady at our agency...gulp...she sounded excited and happy...could this be??? God, are you really dropping our daughter right into our laps?? So, I hurry up and put the kids to bed so I can call.  Shaking...heart pounding...this is it!!! Holy moly!! I called her cell number and she still sounded super excited and wanted to hear all about it!  I told her the story exactly how it happened and she was 110% supportive and on board with anything they needed to do to bring her home!! She said she completely understood and sometimes that's just how it happens.  Holy batman...we just had a baby!!!!! The last piece of the puzzle fell into place so easily!  I was so afraid we would never find her and she was literally a needle in a haystack and God placed her in our life.  God said "see, I got this"!!  What's crazy is everyone on my adoption sites was texting me and messaging me to look at this girl.  It was like EVERYONE knew this baby was mine!!! It all happened so backwards from how I was always told it would happen but that's how God works isn't it??!!  It was now time to tell big brother and sister. The next morning we decided to wrap a picture of her and put it under the tree as if Santa left one last package.  They grabbed it and opened it together.  Olivia's mouth dropped open and Eli said "what's this?" with a big smile on his face. I said "it's your baby sister!!"  Olivia threw her hands up and screamed "YAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!" and Eli got the most excited look on his face and said "REALLY?" They were so elated! Eli teared up and their hearts were pure happiness and joy.  God gave the heart of adoption to our children too and that has been amazing to watch!
At this point I had to wait a week before anyone is back in the office in order to start the switch.  We had to submit a letter and have the director of the agency sign it saying they give over all of our stuff to the new agency.  Wouldn't you know the director didn't come into the office until 1/5!! I'm dying here! The new agency received it on 1/7 and wired everything to Ch@na.  We now have to wait to get a new LID under the new agency.  This took FOREVER!! We only thought it would take a couple of days but no, we didn't get that until 1/25.  At that point they were finally able to submit our LOI (letter of intent) saying we wanted to adopt this girl and we promise to love her, care for her, provide her with medical care and never abandon her.  Then we wait on our PA (pre-approval) from Ch@na.  Once again...thought it would only take a couple days like everyone else but no, we didn't get that until 2/4.  We are now officially waiting for LOA (letter of acceptance)...the most important paper in this whole process that says in Ch@na's eyes we are her parents forever and she belongs to us.  Once again, this should've already come but we are still waiting. Once we get LOA, it is generally 8-12 weeks and we are on a plane to Ch@na!! Everyone thought I would be traveling in March or April but it is looking more like May or June :(  In the adoption community I am known as the "marathon mama" because all of my steps have take double or triple the time everyone else's has.  They actually say it is painful to watch!  lol  I may not understand now and as much as my heart and arms ache to hold my baby, I know when she is placed in my arms it will all go away and it will be so, so worth it!  Our little one is not in the orphanage...she is in foster care...Thank you Jesus!! We sent her a care package last week and praying she gets it!  It included a disposable camera, a photo album with her family in it to get used to our faces, a blanket we have slept with for a year to get our smell on it and a recordable stuffed bunny in which we told her we loved her and sang her a song to get familiar with our voices!  She is almost 14 months old and it says she is stubborn and impatient and her favorite food is fish soup and she dislikes sweet food!! SAY WHAT?? Oh honey, we've got to change that!   In the last picture we got of her she has big crocodile tears in her eyes and I just want to fill her eyes with happiness!  I can't wait to see this girl smile! Oh, be still  my heart!  I will post a pic as soon as we get LOA but be prepared for some major cuteness!!
Sorry this is so incredibly long but I wanted to put in writing how the whole thing happened for those of you that wanted to know the story!  We are naming her Anelyn Hope Xi (xi is pronounced "she" and it is part of her Chinese name)
Please pray that her heart will be prepared for us and that our paperwork changes to the fast lane!! This mama is ready to get on a plane and bring her home!!!
"I will gather your children from the east and bring you from the west" Isaiah 43:5
To make it more personal, I read it now as I will gather Anelyn Hope from the east and bring you from the west.
Thank you Jesus for bringing us our daughter and for having complete control over this journey!

Uplifting Weekend (sorry, it's kinda long)

On Saturday, May 26th our adoption agency had their huge Memorial Day reunion at the zoo.  I called to ask that even though this is really for people who have already brought their children home, if we could still come.  Of course they said yes and I was thrilled.  I couldn't wait to be among people who truly "understood" adoption. The in's, the out's, all the abbreviations, the wait, the unknown and just the heart that adoptive families have.  I had kind of been getting down in the dumps with some of the not so positive comments people had been making about our adoption.  It has really quite shocked me!  Even complete strangers feel the need to give their 2 cents on the subject (which they normally know nothing about).  I guess it is just viewed differently then someone physically "showing" when they are pregnant.  I mean, I've been pregnant twice and I only received kind words and excitement from everyone.  But wow, is this time completely different!!  Even the guy at the bank had something to say...  We had been saving our change for a good 10 years now and decided to roll it all and take it to the bank to open a separate account for our trip to China.  When we explained what we were doing he asked  "how many palms did you have to grease to get this far?"  WE ARE NOT PAYING CHINA FOR A BABY PEOPLE!!  I kindly told him there is no bribery when adopting and in fact all of our money has gone to the US government (for paperwork, notaries, ....yada, yada, yada).  And another one I just love is when people say that it is quite an "investment"...my daughter is NOT an item on the stock market!  I truly don't think people are really intending to be rude, I just think they have pre-conceived notions on what they think adoption is.  I guess I just need to de-bunk everyones misconceptions. The fact of the matter is we are having another child, should it matter whether I physically birth her?  She will be a part of our family forever and in my opinion, blood isn't the only thing that makes a family a family. Don't get me wrong, we have several people that are truly  happy and excited for our family, and to them I am forever grateful.  But there are those that we encounter that are just ignorant to the subject and I have to remember that all people aren't going to "get it" and that is ok.  To those of you who are amazingly supportive and excited, I cannot thank you enough!  I don't know how I would make it through this process if I didn't have you all!   

Anyway, to get off my soap box now...We had an absolute amazing time being surrounded by all the families that have already traveled to get their children!  They all were so encouraging and supportive and excited for us.  And since we didn't have a child from China to show off yet, I decided to have tee shirts made so people would know we were on our way.  I had pink shirts made for my husband, myself, my son and daughter.  My husband's and mine said "expecting" from China on the front along with our chinese characters for mommy and daddy.  My son's said waiting on my mei mei (that means little sister in chinese) and my daughters said "my mei mei is on the way"  (mei mei is pronounced may may).

And on the back of all of our shirts was the chinese symbol for love.  Our shirts were a big hit and everyone loved them and I came home refreshed with my excitement meter filled back up!!  But the neatest thing happened when we were leaving.  See, ladybugs are believed to be good luck in the chinese adoption community and when one is sighted it is believed that a referral is not too far away.  Well, as we were walking out of the zoo to our car I looked at my husband's back (since he was walking in front of me) and I couldn't believe my eyes...right there sitting on the bottom of the love symbol on his shirt was a ladybug!  The first one I have seen this year!  It was just the perfect ending to the perfect day!  And in my opinion, it is God revealing Himself once again in this process and saying this is what I have planned for you, keep on pushing forward because you ARE doing the right thing.
"Do not be afraid, for I am with you; I will bring your children from the east and gather you from the west."   Isaiah 43:5

Wonderful Voicemail

Well, I came home today from a day of teaching first grade to hear a voicemail message from my agency.  She had wonderful news!!  She just received an email from China with our LID.  Our official LID is 5/11/12.  We are now in the CCCWA system and are able to get a referral.  The next shared list should be coming out in another week or so but I'm still not getting my hopes up as they told us it could take 6-12 months.  But still, I am way excited that we are one (very important) step closer!!!

Dossier To China Today!!!!!

dossier documents

Our dossier is officially on it's way to China today! WOOO! HOOO! This is known in the adoption world as your DTC (dossier to China). Ours is 4/23/2012.  Everything kind of revolves around this date.  This is a MAJOR milestone in the marathon of adoption.  In the next week or two we should get our LID (log in date).  Once we are "logged in" with China we are able to get a referral.  Granted, a referral probably won't happen for months and months since China only releases once a month and the list has been very small.  But none the less, we are making excellent progress and I can't believe we are this far along.  Now comes the hard part of just waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting for a referral.
  Please continue to pray for our little girl even though we don't know who she is yet...Pray that God keeps her safe and healthy while we are clear on the other side of the world from her and pray that when we do get her in our arms that the transition and attachment process will go smoothly.  Thank you so much for sharing in the excitement of each of our milestones! Today is a great day!!!

We Received our US Approval Letter!!!

March 29, 2012 ~  We received in the mail today our USCIS approval letter!  This is where the US department of Homeland Security and Immigration services reviewed all of our home study paperwork and approved our fingerprints that were taken on the 16th of March.  I didn't think this was going to arrive until late April or May but surprise, surprise!!!  I emailed our agency a copy of the approval letter and she will be sending it to Washington to the Chinese Consulate to get authenticated. This is where all of our dossier documents are currently and should be finished up in a week.  Once our agency gets the authentication back, our dossier will be on it's way to China!!!  Within a couple days of the paperwork arriving in China we will be officially "logged in".  That means we will be able to get a referral.  This phase is "the waiting phase".  It  could take anywhere from a couple of months to a year...just have to be patient and confident that God knows which baby is supposed to be our little girl and we will get her when the time is right.   Thank you again to those of you who are supporting us along this journey through your kind words, excitement and prayers.  We GREATLY appreciate it all!!!

Biometrics Done and Dossier on it's Way!!

March 16, 2012 ~  This was a big, exciting day for us.  We had our biometric appointment downtown Columbus today (fingerprinting for Homeland Security).  We also got all of our dossier documents certified by the Secretary of State while we were downtown!  On our way home, we stopped at FedEx and shipped our 35 document dossier to our adoption agency along with all the pictures they needed.  All 35 documents had to be notarized, certified in the county in which the notary is registered and then certified by the Secretary of State!  What a relief it was to ship that off!!  In the adoption world completing the dossier is like climbing Mt. Everest!!  Now, we have to wait on our approval letter from Homeland Security and as soon as we get that, we will send it to our agency and then our dossier will be on it's way to China!!  Woo Hoo!!  In the meantime, while we wait on the approval, our agency is sending our dossier documents to Washington to be authenticated by the Chinese Consulate.  I am so thrilled that we have crossed the hurdle of completing our dossier and I can't wait to get the news that it is on it's way to China!!  I'm just praying that everything goes ok with getting our US approval because when I had my prints taken the lady said there is  a 50/50 chance my prints will get rejected because she could not get a good read. (said my skin was too thin)  I'm really hoping that it all goes through without a hitch.  Thank you to everyone who has been supportive and praying for our journey to get our little girl!

Frequently Asked Questions...

Why adopt?  Why China?? I figured I should answer some of the most frequent questions I get about adoption.  Hopefully I do not offend anyone...my goal is to educate and answer some of the common questions I've been getting.  I think there are a lot of myths about adoption that people believe to be true...especially when it comes to cost and such.  

So lets go ahead and answer the price question....Isn't it really expensive to adopt??  Unlike what most think, we are not "paying" China for a baby.  It is the same cost to adopt from China as it is here, just add on the travel cost for our 2 week stay in China.  They do not receive any of the money other than document fees and what we spend on food and such while we are there.   There are fees along the way that add up such as background check/fingerprinting fees, social worker/homestudy fees, processing fees, fees to US Homeland Security to review our case and so on and so on.  Does it add up, yes. But are we paying China for a baby...NO.  There is just SO MUCH involved with adoption as far as paperwork and such and of course nothing is free...there is a charge for everything (even just getting a certified copy of your birth certificate and things like that).

Several people have asked me why don't you adopt here?? There are so many kids that need homes in our own country.  Yes, there are lots of children in the US that need to be adopted but I have been called to China.   Here in the US, the children are cared for in foster homes so their needs are (hopefully) being met by their foster parents.  In China, the abandoned babies are in crowded, unheated orphanages... they have no families.  

The main question I get the most is why?  What made you want to adopt? Why China?  Well, the adoption bug has always been in me.  My husband and I talked about it when we were teenage sweethearts before we were even married.  This was nothing new.  And I always knew it was supposed to be China, nowhere else.  Every time I would see a little asian girl for the past 15 years, my heart would just melt like butter!  And over the past 2 years every time I see one of those beautiful faces, my eyes fill up with tears.  I can't explain it, it is just in me.  However, I think the bible can explain it: For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.  The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." Romans 8:14-16  The adoption "gene" originated with our true Father, our heavenly Father, who adopts us into His family through the gift of His one and only Son.  I mean, isn't adoption the most beautiful manifestation of God's unconditional love?? Why God chose to call us to China, I can't answer that question...I just know with every fiber in my body that China is where our daughter is!

Well, hopefully I have de-bunked some of the myths out there about adoption and maybe opened a few eyes as to why we are doing this.  I know I don't really have a concrete answer as to why and why China, but when God calls you to do something, you do it!!